"Seeking a needle
In the haystack."
Warned life.
But had smelt it.
So, continued.
Lost in relation
And hypocricy.
Way wasnt candid.
But had smelt it.
So, continued.
Tears-fears,
All followed.
Happiness too.
On the way
All left..........
But had smelt it.
So, continued.
Alas, curved out !!!
Unseen was one,
Only one, 'SAD'.
Today he seems
No different.
Empty life
couldnt hate him.
So now is a part.
He smells so familiar.
So, continued.....
11/23/2008
10/31/2008
Day before yesterday i saw a dream. I was in football ground with rest of my section players. I don't remember with whom we were playing against. As all of us always see ourselves as hero in dreams, i too saw my self as one. The match started and 'goal'......it was me giving the goals. Dream went on and i too went on and on. And at last we ended with 6-0. Unbelievable....
But what reality did is very shameful. Dream was no where near.
1st match- we played very well. 10-11 times we shot on target. But none went for goal. Opponent got a penalty and thus they fucked our team. Match ended 0-1.
2nd match-we tried hard throughout the game but failed. The opponent were very strong. But at least i did my work, as a left wing, in this match. Made good chances for others but they failed to turn them to goal. Match ended 1-4.
3rd match-we almost defeated them. They started their entry making two goals through corner. We too made the same with one goal. Match got into interesting turns. We got two penalty but one missed the target. Match ended with 2-4.
Last match was almost contrast to the dream that i saw. I missed 3 goals , for some 4. Two because i couldn't run i got hurt in my leg. Friend said better play bare foot but i had blood clot in my thumb so couldn't. I fucked every ones hope. This was our last change. Today we are left with 2 more matches but we are already out of the league. Was it because i saw dream too early..???
But what reality did is very shameful. Dream was no where near.
1st match- we played very well. 10-11 times we shot on target. But none went for goal. Opponent got a penalty and thus they fucked our team. Match ended 0-1.
2nd match-we tried hard throughout the game but failed. The opponent were very strong. But at least i did my work, as a left wing, in this match. Made good chances for others but they failed to turn them to goal. Match ended 1-4.
3rd match-we almost defeated them. They started their entry making two goals through corner. We too made the same with one goal. Match got into interesting turns. We got two penalty but one missed the target. Match ended with 2-4.
Last match was almost contrast to the dream that i saw. I missed 3 goals , for some 4. Two because i couldn't run i got hurt in my leg. Friend said better play bare foot but i had blood clot in my thumb so couldn't. I fucked every ones hope. This was our last change. Today we are left with 2 more matches but we are already out of the league. Was it because i saw dream too early..???
10/24/2008
My high school was surrounded by lots of water bodies. The biggest was the river named "Dihing". Dihing is a devil river during summer, but none has to worry about it till we remain away from it. One of its tributary named "Naga " is what everyone cares about . Naga - the name has the energy,fun,encouragement and what not. Naga was swimming pool for all the students those who had a life out of books. I too became one of them. But it really takes to be one among those student if u are not an expert initially.
It was july 2006 when i joined the school. From that month itself people started going to the river. I called it 'Crazy' before i realise the real fun behind it. After the summer ended i had decided to get in to it anyhow. I begged my room mate,Marjim, to take me to the spot and teach me basics in the portion where he thought could be better for traning. After a long wait i went for traning. I was not alone,i had lots of beginner mate in the river. One among whom i had a tough competetion was Bullo kano. I went frequently to Naga to learn the basics. I always showed what new i had learned to my close competator and just before ending the last swim of the day we would go for racing. He learned back swimming before me but i got the front before him.
Before this day i always swimed in low levels. But my destiny was deciced, that day it had some other level for me. One of my expert friend,Bhim, asked me if i would go with him. On the way he decide ,he would help me improve a little more in it. Ok i thought but i was not clear what he was upto. We reached the spot and got ready to get into the water. I was going from behind to my level spot when he called me,"where are u going. Come here. Today i will teach how to jump into deep portion and come out safely ". These words had horrified me. I was as beginner and according to me only expert tried it. I got myself clear that i am not going to do this so early. But he won in convencing me. He went below to protect me if in case i face any trouble making it. I stood swinging my hand to make my go. Friends below started counting '1 23' but i failed to jump. They kept calling '123' but every time i made them disappoint. May be Bhim thought i wont go for it untill someone gives me a word of encouragement, so he screamed loud," u wont learn untill u jump". The words almost lifted my legs and next moment i was strugling to come to safe corner of the river. Friends were screaming, "a little more and you will reach thr corner". I kept moving my legs and hands in full swing but couldnt do any better. Atlast Bhim had to came to rescue.
After that day i had no fear left to do these staff. Every weekend i would go to river and thus i became an expert afterall. Be it exam days, festival...even during class 12 board exams, never could the river seperate me from itself...
But the words-" U wont learn untill u jump" still helps me. I feel, till we jump into the matter we wont know the real depth of it . These can really be helpfull in really life too. what i got from my memorable experience was more than enough to teach me nothing is imposible if we get into depth.
It was july 2006 when i joined the school. From that month itself people started going to the river. I called it 'Crazy' before i realise the real fun behind it. After the summer ended i had decided to get in to it anyhow. I begged my room mate,Marjim, to take me to the spot and teach me basics in the portion where he thought could be better for traning. After a long wait i went for traning. I was not alone,i had lots of beginner mate in the river. One among whom i had a tough competetion was Bullo kano. I went frequently to Naga to learn the basics. I always showed what new i had learned to my close competator and just before ending the last swim of the day we would go for racing. He learned back swimming before me but i got the front before him.
Before this day i always swimed in low levels. But my destiny was deciced, that day it had some other level for me. One of my expert friend,Bhim, asked me if i would go with him. On the way he decide ,he would help me improve a little more in it. Ok i thought but i was not clear what he was upto. We reached the spot and got ready to get into the water. I was going from behind to my level spot when he called me,"where are u going. Come here. Today i will teach how to jump into deep portion and come out safely ". These words had horrified me. I was as beginner and according to me only expert tried it. I got myself clear that i am not going to do this so early. But he won in convencing me. He went below to protect me if in case i face any trouble making it. I stood swinging my hand to make my go. Friends below started counting '1 23' but i failed to jump. They kept calling '123' but every time i made them disappoint. May be Bhim thought i wont go for it untill someone gives me a word of encouragement, so he screamed loud," u wont learn untill u jump". The words almost lifted my legs and next moment i was strugling to come to safe corner of the river. Friends were screaming, "a little more and you will reach thr corner". I kept moving my legs and hands in full swing but couldnt do any better. Atlast Bhim had to came to rescue.
After that day i had no fear left to do these staff. Every weekend i would go to river and thus i became an expert afterall. Be it exam days, festival...even during class 12 board exams, never could the river seperate me from itself...
But the words-" U wont learn untill u jump" still helps me. I feel, till we jump into the matter we wont know the real depth of it . These can really be helpfull in really life too. what i got from my memorable experience was more than enough to teach me nothing is imposible if we get into depth.
10/12/2008
Whatever ,have u been to me,
Friend or just a companion,but dear to me.
To me ,u have been a constant support,
And to leave u,dear,is one thing i cant effort.
Its seems,time and tide waits for none,
But time,for sure cant hamper our united run.
Now,the time has come for us to part.
And this heart of mine,fears from living apart.
Though i tried to stop my melancholic heart's cry.
Still there are memories; them,how can i defy???
So,lets pray to the lord,
Who alone controls the chord
Of string of everyones fate.
Some day,we'll reunite before its to late......
Friend or just a companion,but dear to me.
To me ,u have been a constant support,
And to leave u,dear,is one thing i cant effort.
Its seems,time and tide waits for none,
But time,for sure cant hamper our united run.
Now,the time has come for us to part.
And this heart of mine,fears from living apart.
Though i tried to stop my melancholic heart's cry.
Still there are memories; them,how can i defy???
So,lets pray to the lord,
Who alone controls the chord
Of string of everyones fate.
Some day,we'll reunite before its to late......
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